I'm done. I'm ready to quit breastfeeding. Edith is 11 months old and I'm just tired. I'm tired of her being handed over to me in the morning, like I'm some sort of pump, 'fill her up, then she''ll be ready to go a few hundred more miles'. I'm done with this feeling like I'm the only one that can put her to bed, that it's only me that she can 'peacefully drift off to sleep' with.
My only problem is that Edy isn't done.
She'll claw on my shirt, she'll start sucking on my shoulders, she'll arch her back in frustration.
And I do, I really do wish that my heart was in it, to keep going.
But it's simply not.
I'm not going to go on about how I'm ready to take back my body, that she's my third child... I've done this all before, that I've lost that 'oh-it's-so-beautiful' feeling.
What I'm feeling is: full of guilt
And of course, I feel selfish; like a shitty mom for wanting to quit on her.
Because I know people that would have breastfed forever if they could, and I can...
I just don't want to.
14 comments:
I'm right there. I patched together a year and now we're here and I'm DONE. But, he's not. If anything he's doubling his efforts because my supply is shit and he knows it. Sneaky baby.
Don't feel badly, You've got me beat by 5 months. my daughter (#2) is not even 6 mos and i'm done. Now if can only get her to take a bottle, it would be a reality. If you're feeling guilty, read the bookIs Breast Best?, just published last year. Promise you won't feel so bad.
As one who went longer and longer with each one I feel ya' girl! I may not have felt the same way but I understand where you're coming from. If you feel ready to stop then you should follow your gut feeling! Good luck hon!
I hear you!!! Loud and clear!!!
Coby will be two in September and he is STILL nursing (only at naptime and at night, but still). I didn't even think I'd breastfeed him for a full year, let alone until he is almost two - but he is sooooo attached to the boob (literally and figuratively!) that I've found it more frustrating to try and wean him than to just give in and nurse him.
But I'm soooooo ready to stop. Any time now, dude, any time ...
with my first I just stopped offering and she stopped asking at 13 months. But with my second I kept going until the point where I was done. We all get to that point. Better to recognize it and listen to yourself. Don't do it if it doesn't feel right any more.
Here's the advice my lactation consultant gave me when I had to supplement with formula for Mad: A fed baby is a happy baby.
Recently I read an article about weaning. It was by La Leche League, so you know this wasn't the point (yes, that's me rolling my eyes at the boob nazis), but the line that stuck out to me was, "she won't remember this."
You have done so much for her, and will continue to so much. In different ways.
Big hugs.
a) it's not selfish b) you aren't a shitty mom c) this means we *must* talk on friday.
I read the other comments with interest (because I have been in your boat in the past) and I think they are all right. If you're moving her on a bottle for now you need to get her on it ASAP & have your hubby do the honors. She may take a little time to figure it out but she will & she will take it much better from him. This will be your payback for being the solo feeder all these months. I loved the comment that she won't remember it. It's true. Most important is to remember that there's a lot of give & take in parenting. You can't be the best mom you can be feeling conflicted. Good luck!
I say quit before you really resent it and remember it as something you disliked. You want the fond memories to remain with you, and she's certainly received those valuable antibodies by this point. It's perfectly ok to stop when you're ready!
With my first I went 14 months simply because I wasn't sure how to wean him and did it very slowly, Alex was done pretty much right at 12 months. Ryder- I am done except for when he wakes up in the night, easier to give him a boob then go downstairs and get a bottle :). Now if the kid would just not wake up in the night I would be totally done. Which my husband would love as nursing boobs are pretty much off limits in my book....hmmm maybe I won't stop yet ;)
I cannot believe she's 11 months! That cannot be possible! Kudos to you for lasting 11 months!!
You have to quit when it's right for you...Nursing is supposed to be enjoyed by mom and babe. And, if not both, then I think the jig is up.
Don't feel guilty or shitty!
As a mom of a three-month-old that I really would love to nurse but can't, I appreciate you recognizing that there are people in my boat too.
That said, if you want to be done--don't feel guilty. As a parent, we make so many decisions and are so often made to feel guilty about them. Only you know what's right for you and your baby. It's not like you not nursing your baby makes it so I can nurse mine.
So which one of you got your way? I felt this way at 7 mo with Connor. Luckily, he went on a weeklong trip without me and that was the end of that. :)
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