Wednesday, August 6, 2008

duct tape and desire

Nothing makes me feel better about my deep, dark desire to duct tape my children's mouths shut on certain days than looking for a new job on Craigslist, where I could then leave my grouchy, fussy children in the hands of some other poor soul while I pursue new endeavors.

Perhaps I should look into something to advance my career, below they are looking for someone 'mature'. Plus, who doesn't like a free clothing job benefit...



Female Models $20.00 an hour plus free clothes (western suburbs)


Date: 2008-07-30, 3:38PM CDT


Looking for a mature model girl next door is a plus

Maxim meets playboy style shoot

No experience required

Must be fun and take direction well

outdoor and studio shoots available

Great way to start a portfolio!



Or perhaps a job that interests the 'high end', sophisticated side of myself...



So You Wanna Be a Model?



Date: 2008-07-24, 1:42PM CDT


Looking for females and couples ages 18-35 for a high end fetish video and photo shoot. Head and body shots a plus. Experience isn't a must, we will train if necessary. Up to $75 an hour if experienced and a good fit, possibility of long term work with points. Contact James

Compensation: Up to $75/hr based on experience



(and yes, I could totally use $75 an hour, that would be a huge pay increase. Bonus, they are 'willing to train'. I am curious what a 'good fit' means and 'long term work with points', hmmm)



or perhaps I should forget a new job and just have my investments start working for me...



Locations needed for "America's Next Felon"


Date: 2008-07-21, 1:59PM CDT


We're looking for an abandoned warehouse, or an empty warehouse that looks rough or could be dressed down. Even an empty or closed restaurant, bar, gas station. Something a dirty cop and an ex-con would hold a reality show so it wouldn't draw attention. Budget is very low so we'll talk about compensation. The owner of the location will get film credit, copies of the project, invite to the wrap party and to the premiere, and t-shirts when they arrive.


This is going to going to be a fun project so get on board.

I think my house would be perfect for a dirty cop and/or ex-con show. I'd get to wear a t-shirt that says something along the lines of "America's Next Felon" was filmed at my house and all I got was this lousy t-shirt. (Aren't those shirts the best!)

It's so great that life is full of opportunities. (I'll make sure to tell my children this when their mouths are taped shut so they can be sure to hear me.) You can thank me too, I've left all links to Reply to:

18 comments:

Carissa(GoodnCrazy) said...

Hey, I just fell in love with Craig's List myself.

Just listed our house even...oh my the God's please shine on Craig whoever the crap he is and let someone poor deserving soul BUY MY STINKIN' house....

If not I plan to join you in the $20/hour 'model' wink-wink job.

Vashey Fam said...

Funny! I know the feeling, although no b/c Wyatt jabbers much yet....just kind of feeling like I have so much more potential other than making meals, cleaning and singing Old McDonald.

amanda said...

hilarious friend!!

i love me some craigs list. sometimes just for a good laugh!!

Laural Out Loud said...

I should totally pass those on to my sister! Just kidding, but she's done some nude modeling before, and, well, she needs money, lol.

Craig's list is AWESOME.

Fashion crazy girl said...

I have not looked at Craig's List--if I did, I might take that job--yeah, it's been one of THOSE days ;)

OHmommy said...

I love what you can find on Craig's list. I often wonder where in the world Craig really is?

kristine said...

Oh man, you are too great!

Marketing Mama said...

That felon show one takes the cake - holy crap!

Briya said...

The things you can find on Craig's list! I wonder if I can model with my cast....

Unknown said...

Hilarious! And at least for the last one you get a free t-shirt!

The Mrs. said...

wow i'm going to have to go check out craigs list now. can you believe i've never been on it?

fetish shots could totally bump up the boys college funds.....

KIDDING

Rebecca said...

Well. That's interesting. And creepy.

Anonymous said...

I told my mom about Craigslist and she just kept asking me, "Who's Craig?" I wonder if there even is a guy named Craig at all. Either way, it is a great website! Glad you had fun job hunting.

Miss Lisa said...

Duh--just realized I posted a comment under my daughter's name Fashion Crazy Girl--sorry 'bout that ;)

mom2natnkatncj said...

Ahhhh the possibilities are endless ;).

Trooper Thorn said...

Once you are over 21, the only respectable job that has "no experience required" is Parent.

Best to stay away from Craigslist altogether.

Anonymous said...

That was too funny. I never knew Craig's list could be kind of creepy. You learn something new every day.

CC said...

I love these awesome ads. I could SO use one of these jobs! ;)

Found your blog via someone's (don't even remember). Had to visit you based on your name. ;)

LinkWithin

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...