Monday, June 6, 2011

just roll with it

I don't know why, but my daughter apparently hates my favorite place on earth. On multiple occasions, she will not make it 5 minutes past the doors of Super Target before she's a blubbering mess. The only way I can make it through a trip is by having her hang on my hip while I push the cart with my free hand. Add to that, if Wyatt's sitting the cart, he'll sporadically stand up in the cart like he's captain of this ship, swaying it to the left or right.

I attempt to ready to course for the 10 items or less lane. Wyatt suddenly remembers that he suppose to get Pokemon cards for his 20 stickers. (And by 20 stickers I'm talking about the bribery chart we use for him to not go to the bathroom 17 times stay in his bed at night and get himself dressed in the morning. Yes, I bribe my child to get dressed in the morning, don't judge me.)

So Wyatt screams that he 'needs out of the cart!' to pick out his cards. I move Edy off my hip and put her in the cart seat, she starts balling again. I quickly pull Wyatt out of the cart and somehow, he's managed to kick the carton of cheery tomatoes out of the cart. Edy is still wailing, so I resort to moving her so she's sitting on the ground and finally, she stops crying.

In the middle the check-out lane, I'm running around trying to grab rolling balls of f'ing cherry tomatoes, breaking into a sweat at the scene we are causing. Wyatt keeps stomping around the cards (and the tomatoes) trying to pick out the one with the most metallic on it. Edith is on the floor of Target and she's managed to grab the bottom railing of the cart, pushing back and forth, much to her excitement.

I finally managed to toss the majority of the tomatoes back into the carton and threw them on the counter to pay.

The cashier asks me then, like she hadn't even witness any of the debacle that just happened, "how are you doing today?"

I looked at her like her hair was on fire and managed to mutter "I'm just fine".

She goes on, "did you find everything you needed today?"

Kill me now.

I so wanted to say "Yeah, sure! Except my patience was lost somewhere in the bakery department and if you see my sanity anywhere around the aisle 13, just let me know".

11 comments:

Liz Mays said...

Yeah, you're gonna need to go at night now and then all by yourself to make up for this.

MommyLisa said...

Yeah - I have left Target with nothing because of the scene before. Its awful.

Sister1 said...

HA! When I read the line "my favorite place on earth..." I thought to myself, my favorite place on earth is Target. So glad I am not alone. Mine is pure magic, I HEART it.

It used to be meltdown central for my youngest, which I can't figure out. The wide aisles, the bargains, the selection. Anywho, once she old enough to bribe with a cookie at the bakery (I do occasionally bribe with sugar--don't judge me!) she came to feel the way about Target that I do. Don't lose hope, God speed.

Emmy said...

I cannot believe she started the conversation that way after everything that had just happened!
There really are just a few years in kids lives where shopping is near impossible.. heck, maybe it always will be.
And you are so not the only parent who bribes- I mean rewards :)

amanda said...

dear e,

we need to work on this. target equals mommy's saving grace. have you made friends with the dollar section?how about an icee? some popcorn maybe?

we love you e and we need mommy to stay sane. i know you can do it :)

xo - your favorite auntie from ks

KristinFilut said...

My kids miraculously were both invited to friends' on Saturday. I shopped without them. It. Was. Glorious.

penguinsandladybugs said...

:) sigh....been there! It does get better!

Shan said...

Some day you'll look back and laugh. Sure, it might be maniacal laughter. And you might be rocking in the corner and flicking the light on and off... but you'll laugh. Ha!

(Have you considered a carrier like Ergo or Beco for Edy? It's how we've made it 10 months, frankly.)

Caitlin {Pacifier In My Pocket} said...

Bribery is totally an acceptable form of survival to run errands. Target is totally my favorite place on earth too. But now instead of peacefully browsing the clothes, I'm chasing a 2 year old around and just throwing things in my cart as I can. It narrowly avoids the meltdown that sitting the cart causing, but I never feel like I actually leave there with the things I intended to buy.

Murdock's mama said...

If this happens with our baby my husband will jump up and down...that savings alone might just get him the new truck he's praying for! :)

PS...I feel your pain :)

renegademothering said...

I have been known to abandon AN ENTIRE CART of stuff I need. I just leave it there and never look back. Just one big "screw it" moment.

Can't wholeheartedly recommend this tactic, though, since the shopping doesn't get done, it's sort of just delaying the inevitable. Feels good at the time though. :)

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