Here are step-by-step instructions on 'how to guarantee that you get pooped on'.1- Sit your toddler on the toilet, for the third or fourth time in less than 2 hours, because you know him pulling on the butt of his shorts is a sign that he has to go.
2- Encourage your toddler to go poopie, only to be shouted back at "No, only go pee-pee."
3- Watch him do nothing, listen to him whisper "I'm done. I get a maramellow" (a marshmallow).
4- Stick to your guns. Refuse the marshmallow and pull off Elmo underwear and shorts, anticipating repeating this scenario 15 minutes from this point.
5- Prepare for more shouting and screaming. Expect a mad toddler; mad about not getting his 'Elmo's' back on, mad about not getting the marshmallow, mad about his little toddler life in general.
6- Have a timer set to go off. Perhaps something that can't just 'sit' in the oven, perhaps something for lunch, something like baked chicken (because isn't over baked chicken the worst?).
7- Leave your toddler alone to rescue whatever is in the oven.
8 - Have your bare-butt toddler follow you out to the kitchen after a bit.
9- Have him wave his fingers at you, in the air, smeared with poopie, him saying: "I go pee-pee, Momma". See a large something still hanging from his bare-butt.
10- Prepare for yet again more screaming, this time coming from you.
11- Sweep up your toddler, butt facing you, trying to 'catch' the poop and keep it from falling off of his butt onto the hardwood floor.
12- Proceed to the bathroom with much haste, only to turn the corner of the doorway a bit too quick.
13- Watch poopie fall from your wrist, down your arm and plop down on the floor.
There you have it, guaranteed instructions on 'how to get pooped on'. I've currently tested this 3 days in a row and it's presently worked 4 times! That's above a 100% guarantee!
(You would think that I would have learned my lesson by the second time.)
28 comments:
Are you taking suggestions? Let me know. I've raised five past the stage and haven't been pooped on ever. Good luck you poor thing.
Oh no! I guess that I was lucky, my girls came up and told me that they wanted to be big girls, and we didn't have any accidents. Good luck.
Been there - done that. The poop with toddlers is so gross. We were pretty lucky with Sophie in that she started pooping in the potty soon after she could walk. I read about this is a book called early potty training and got right on it. Still, she had some problems when she refused to go later. My nephew was a nightmare though. I am actually scared to start with Miles but I want to only have one kid in poop diapers at a time so we will begin soon! Stick with it! Good Luck!
AWWW!!! Mine is 16 mon. and we are in that process!! I hope I dont get pooped on though!! :) Thats funny though because we have the same snack!!
It's like looking into the future. A crap-filled future. :)
I'd tell you how funny it was if it wasn't so gross to get pooped on. Okay, it's still a little funny. I've never been totally pooped on but have gotten it on my hands. Icky!
Guaranteed I won't be testing this out!
I'm so desperate to get mine pooping anywhere in the vicinity of the potty, what you described actually sounds kinda awesome.
Sigh.
this is why i kinda don't care if beans stays in diapers FOREVER!! but when it is our turn to start the process - i will be sure to bookmark this post :)
ps - i "liked it" but don't have an act to vote. can this comment count?
I'm so glad those days are behind (hee hee) my family. I had a similiar experience but it involved a trail of pee in a trucker rest stop...At least yours was in the privacy of your own home which only slightly cuts down on the horror of it all...
My deepest sympathies! Getting Darling Daughter to go poopy on the potty was a trial at our house, too. I never got pooped on per se, but she had a nasty habit of denying she needed to go only to crouch down and do it in her panties. We called her 'Crouching Pooper, Hidden Farter' ...
ROTFLMAO!! Now that's one parenting experience I never had!!
Hahaha!!! I especially loved the "mad about his little toddler life, in general" line.
Classic!
You poor thing!
But is it bad that #4 made me laugh...and laugh? Hehe :)
Well my sister was trying to train her son recently, with not much success at first, but she somehow trained him to go outside. So there he was underneath the trampoline leaving his little droppings just like a dog. He does go in the toilet now though.
Another story, I have girls, you don't typically think that they will be the ones to whip it out and go anywhere. But apparently my two oldest girls decided that 10 feet was to far to walk to go to the bathroom while they were watching tv, so, they decided to let it all come out behind our couch. I contemplated murder, but a three hour time out had to do.
Man, much sympathy. I have decided I hate potty training and would like all babies to come potty trained from now on.
The boy managed to get poo on the floor when it feel out the leg of his shorts. Apparently the diaper opened up at just the right angle. I now fear potty training him.
You made me laugh my butt off. Just reading it and knowing what I am in for with twin sons (if you saw my entry two days ago... about preparing for potty training...). Your entry enlightened me, made me laugh and scared the CRAP out of me...
My house is gonna be trashed and stink with two at the same time. OMG> Help me. Is there a SuperNanny for boy/twin potty training that I care hire?
Yes yes. I've followed similar instructions with the same result.
Wow! After reading your post (very funny by the way) I'm really looking forward to this stage in my toddler's life!
I swear I'm leaving Nico in diapers until he's at least 10. Or he can just go outside, like the dog.
i follow anyone who follows me
misshadijat.blogspot.com
misshadijat.blogspot.com
Thanks for the laugh!! I had something like this happen to me when my daughter was little.
I love poopie posts ha ha ha!!
I am so THERE! I have just trained my 2 year old daughter, Estella. Peeing is easy, pooping she freaks out about. It is like she is in labor or something. I have to hold her legs to the toilet seat and listen to her screaming at me that she doesn't have to go, until she finally poops and says "Go poo-poo mama!" Seriously we should get paid for this job!
Awesome! Getting pooped on is right up there with getting vommited on. Us moms sure take a lot of crap, literally!
I am absolutly loving your blog! Happy SITS day!!
Blogs about poop are very valid ;)
Yikes....I too am potty training right now. It stinks! I have been pooped on a few times but mostly I get to find it in fun places :)
Post a Comment