Wyatt made me a friendship bracelet in Sunday school. I thought about not wearing it as we walked back to the car, but then I just felt it: this need to wear this little reminder that I need to love him.
And I know I shouldn't need a reminder, but right now my head is filled with that... I love you, but I don't like you phrase.
So, I'm wearing this bracelet, I haven't taken it off since putting it on.
::
Wyatt has been struggling with everything and everyone. He complains:
Why do I have to put my pajamas in the laundry?
I never get to... you name it.
Why did you make my pants too tight?
Why did you buy me new shoes, these are too tight/too loosely/too velcory...?
Do I have to clean up this mess, why do I always have to clean up?
I hate (what the opposite of whatever you just said).
It's so hard, coming after Christmas, where he gets so much, has so much, only to hear the negative come out of his mouth.
It's not ever been my goal to be a friend to Wyatt, I don't think parents should be friends with their kids. My goal is to just be his mom, and just love him.
So, to me, this bracelet isn't really a friendship bracelet, it's an olive branch.
14 comments:
The tides WILL turn and you will like him again. One day you'll think to yourself that you really enjoy the little person he's becoming, how much you enjoy talking to him, etc. and I think it's wonderful that you have a visual reminder to help you get through these tough times until those easier days do arrive.
(((hugs)))
I give you kudos for saying this out lout. Just a few months ago I went through that with my older girl 2 1/2. I asked my sister if it was normal to not like your child sometimes. (of course you always love them, but those feelings of anger and dislike can come to the top) I'm learning that children are just one phase after another!
I was going to a weekly Bible study and I was always asking for prayers to be patient and kind!
Accept those olive branches as they come. And thank you for saying what other moms are thinking but are afraid to! Sending patient vibes your way.
You are not alone my friend. My middle child (age 6) is acting the same way and it's driving me insane!! It's amplified right now as Daddy is out of town for work for 2 weeks so I don't get much of a break and always have to be the bad guy without any back up. I sure hope we don't stay in this phase too long!! I love him to pieces, but could soooooo use a break from the complaining.
I can so relate to these feelings!
Ugh, sounds like Alex heck and Lucas lately. Yes, somedays it is hard to like
Oh yes, this. I completely get this.
{It's a lovely olive branch.}
I love this, Beth. I have been there some days as well ... Keep going.
best olive branch i have ever seen.
thank you for sharing.
xoxo
I think you have bravely put to words what many (most?, all?) moms feel at one time or another. I had this conversation with one of my sisters (who isn't a parent) just last night. I tried to explain how even though there has never been a day that I didn't love my children, there are some days that I just don't like them very much. (Obviously not ALL of them at once... just the ones who are royally pissing me off!)It will pass. (In my household, it probably means someone else gets to be in the hot seat for a while.) Parent-children relationships are just like every other relationship... they ebb and flow. I usually end up praying for that kid extra hard and thanking God to soften my heart towards him. Before long things are good as new.
I had this talk with small fry last week. He looked up at me, & sincerely said, "You're my friend, right, Ima?" I gathered him into a big hug and explained to him very seriously-- My son, you are much more to me than a friend. You are my son and I am your Ima, and nothing will ever, ever change that." Not sure he quite understood, but he bounced off happily to play with his firestation...
I'm with you. I'm not here to be my child's friend, but something much much more important. I'm so glad to see others with this viewpoint as well.
Big hugs to you and to Wyatt... a group hug!
Sometimes being the mama is so hard. It's nice that you can see the olive branch. Not everyone can.
Awww....I think I need a bracelet, too. I'm getting those arguments from both girls lately.
It's a good thing that God makes them cute, because sometimes, I think it's hard to "like" them!
This is a great posting I have read. I like your article. Thank you
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