I just joined Costco. I don't really know why, but there something inside of me that feels a little bit more important when I pull out the Costco card and throw it in the face of the mean old guy standing in the entrance. (Because he really does have this mean face, I'm thinking he's hopped up on the authority that Costco gave him to deny people, but I'm all like 'that's right, now I'm part of the club too, booyah!')Say it slowly, members only.
It's like the sorority that I never joined in college.
Expect everyone gets the free shit, and they don't even have to flash their boobs.
So, I was still feeling pretty cool about my members only/elitist card to Costco come Friday morning. I proclaimed "let's go to Costco, kids!" because we can (because we need toilet paper too), but mostly because we can.
I turned the corner, Costco in sight, and I pointed to the parking lot. I screamed to the boys in the backseat "now *that's* when you go to Costco!".
It was 9:36 and the parking lot was only a quarter full.
Awesomeness.
I pulled into my parking spot, closer to the front doors than I've ever been. I was giving myself a big pat on the back for finding the perfect time to go to Costco; without the crowds, my day off... the stars had aligned and my new membership was simply, meant to be.
Then I turned to crack open my car door when I realized that the woman, who I just watched get out of her car, sat down on a cement ledge near the front doors and opened up a newspaper.
WTF?
I took a closer look at the sign on the door; Monday-Friday open at 10am.
Oh, for the love of...
You know that means that I would have to wait more than 20 minutes before Costco opens, and of course, I'm not going to wait 20 minutes for a 36 count roll of toilet paper.
My time is way more valuable than that.
And then came the realization that the woman got out of her car, sat outside the doors of Costco, just to be those few steps closer to getting inside when they open... more than 20 minutes from now.
And then people started to form a line behind her.
Umm, this membership thing is looking a little less cool.
And it's certainly not going to fulfill my deep-seated desire to be in a sorority.
Except like in a sorority, you can get really cheap beer...
and I can work with that.
7 comments:
Hilarious post! I love it! I've wanted to join Costco for years, too. Someday. . .
HA! That's never happened to me at Costco...but it HAS happened to me at the OTHER exclusive big box club...Apparently, there's an exclusive EXCLUSIVE club at that one, that gets to shop b4 10 am. The mean man working there agreed to let me and my children in as long as I agreed not to hit the check out line until after 10 so neither he nor I would be busted breaking the club rules.
pfft.
Very funny Antisupermom!
What in the world? Costco isn't worth all that! (or is it?)
seriously laughing out loud honey!
i miss you. and wish we were neighbors.
i would have paid money to see your face when you realized they didn't open till ten!
Lol! Awesome post. We used to have a Costco membership but decided not to renew as all of the money we saved we lost on big tubs of licorice. :)
I've had a Costco membership for years. I have to admit, I've never been there at opening and in December, I plain stay away from the place, heck you can't even find a spot in their lot in December LOL.
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