Me and my adult life.
Where I get praised for a job well done; where I get raises, where I have peers, where I have people that communicate with me, like adults.
Then the bubble pops.
What am I in a hurry for?
I close my eyes for just a second and they've changed.
I'm not a stay-at-home mom, they have this freedom to go where they need to go that I don't have. They don't understand me.
I don't work outside the home either, I don't have to say goodbye to my child every day. They don't understand me.
I'm an outsider,
on this bubble.
or
in this bubble.
or
in this bubble.
I haven't decided yet.
19 comments:
Of course you're an outsider. How else would you get your pregnant body tied up in a picnic bench? And doesn't Edie constitute a raise?
Seriously though, I think that even under the best circumstances you can only appreciate any given moment so much while you're going through it. The magic really happens later.
You sure do make your bubble look good though!
These are great photos and a wonderful way to express what you are feeling!
Maybe you are the best of both worlds? Earning a living while witnessing your children grow up. Nevertheless, we all feel trapped by our bubbles sometimes.
I'm torn between wanting to go back to work, for the very reasons you listed (it's funny how much more I got done on my lunch hour than a whole day at home!), and being a SAHM and witnessing all of the wonderfulness of my kids growing up. I never thought of what it would be like to work at home, but it sounds like it has a whole slew of other challenges. I bet there's a MeetUp for WAHM moms! And if not, you could start one!
I think you matter which bubble you are in/on or otherwise, the grass is always greener on the other side.
My SAHM friends don't get working, either. And, to be honest, I'm not sure I get staying at home.
So true. I couldn't have expressed it better myself - you hit the nail on the head with what I've been feeling lately!
I hear you...I am trapped in a bubble too. (Aren't we all, I suppose...) I drop my boys off and go to a job I hate every. single. day. "Be thankful you HAVE a job," people tell me. But right now, less money and more time with my kids sounds like the best job in the whole world. If only the mortgage and the utility bills didn't have to be paid I suppose. Hang in there chickie!
I love this post! In or on the bubble - it's the best! ;)
WW: Dragon Princess
Great post! Wish I didn't have to work, but crap, everything is SO EXPENSIVE!! Oh well, LOVE the bubble pic!
I think the whole SAHM/Working mom is a total false dichotomy that pushes us into ridiculous and narrow corners. And the whole WAHM thing, (that's me too) is its own beast entirely, but what they all have in common is that people have strong assumptions (often false) about all of them. These subconscious belief systems alienate us, make us judge others, and make us conflicted because ultimately we will always run into our own judgments. We combat all this when we are authentic, honest, and connect. Which is what you have done here. You have captured your feelings and ambivalence so artfully. Thanks!
I agree with Krystyn. While I'd love to be a stay-at-home Mom...I wonder...what's the point? My "bubble occupant" is 11, going on 23. To be home all day while she's at school would drive me bonkers. Yes, I could be a "lady who lunches" and visits museums and has coffee IN the coffee shops, but honestly, those times are THAT much better when she's with me. This is a cross we bear as moms :)
AMAZING post. I can so relate to its every word.
Beautifully written.
Life's too short not to be happy, sister. I thought about this yesterday a bit, and at first wrote my initial reaction (the grass is greener, your bubble seems nice to me, yadda, yadda), but I don't think you should try to lessen or "stuff" your feelings. Find a solution, a happy medium. You're doing a pretty darn good job of making little changes/adjustments already, and you've done big changes before. Be happy. You deserve it.
dude - best picture EVER!
but on a serious note - i get it. the first part. and the second part. it's amazing how our thought bubbles work. dreamy like. then they burst just like that and you realize even if no one understands, you do. and for right now we are exactly where we are meant to be.
xo
ps - is your hair pulled back in the new profile pic or did you cut it? either way i am loving it!
I'm a pretty big fan of the bubble pictures. Those are cute.
I think what I will be most excited about when I go back to an office is job is lunch. A lunch break sounds awesome.
But I tell myself these kids don't/ won't want or need me for too long so I need to take advantage of it.
It is so easy to get caught up in life that we don't really enjoy it and think what if- but yes things can pop and change so quickly that we just need to live.
Great post and amazing first picture!
It's funny. I feel the same way...though it's a different situation. I work part-time, which makes me a sort of SAHM and a sort of working mom...I feel like the queen of mediocrity - stuck in two worlds, barely making it in each. But no doubt the outsider thing would exist no matter where I fell, if I were to fall squarely anywhere...becoming a "real" SAHM or a "real" career woman. I adjusted to that feeling a long time ago.
P.S. Enjoying your blog. Cheers.
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