Giving birth to five children seems insane. Like really insane.
But here I am wondering how people can sit and tell me how they just 'knew'. That their family was complete.
How do they just know?
(please tell me how)
I'm feeling like I'm on the other end of the spectrum, as I jumped for joy with every new milestone Henry hit, I'm crying inside over those of Edy's.
Her firsts are my lasts.
Yes, it's selfish of me.
I should be equally as excited to see her roll around, babble 'ma-ma-ma-ma' over and over, have her take her first bites of real food, but I'm not.
Of course, I'm happy, but (and I can't explain it any better) I'm sad. Every change makes me yearn for that newborn... that two month old... that little girl of just last week.
So I come back to the question, how did you know when your family was complete?
Or if you aren't there, how *will* you know when your family is complete?
Edith and her first tooth
24 comments:
Oh, this brought tears to my eyes. Fynn's firsts are my lasts, too. For me, the decision was harder to make the first time (uh, yeah, that would be right before I got knocked up with Madelyn and started down the "we can't have two *only* children... Mad needs a relative from her generation" road). Because before that I'd always felt like I had a daughter out there waiting for me. I'm so glad I got to meet her. And I got a bonus baby girl, too! But I was ready to be done when Mad was about a month old. Totally glad that I went along with Tom's crazy scheme and kind of relieved that Fynn's not the go-getter, ahead of the curve girl that her older sister is. It's nice to wrap things up with a snuggly baby who often just wants to be held and loved. Even so, I had some pretty strong second thoughts before scheduling my tubal... but they went away while talking with my doctor, honestly.
That being said, what's right for me isn't always (heck, not even often) right for everyone.
Hugs,
Shan :+)
Oh, and I thought this post was going to end up differently... like "I should already know how this happens, but please tell me how it is that I'm *going to* give birth to my fifth child." LOL
I think about this all of the time. I have two boys now and my youngest is going to be 3 at the end of the year. I gave myself a time limit, and not a kid limit. I don't want to have any babies after I'm 30, which gives me a little over 4 years, and I'm shooting for 2 more kids, but we'll see I guess.
I never really knew. I just waited and waited and put off having another until finally it was just over. Maybe it's not over for you.
Unfortunately, I think it's one of those questions with many different right answers. You know I have 5 but I kinda cheated the last time with twins, so I've only had 4 pregnancies. Up until I got pregnant the last time, I was undecided (not so much the case with the hubs, who thought 3 was just peachy). After the initial shock of an unplanned pregnancy, I was pretty excited. However, when I learned we were having twins, I knew our quiver was full. I hate to say it, but I just knew and I was happy and satisfied with that. There was a brief time I thought about adopting a little girl right after the twins were born, but the truth is I never pursued it and as time went on I just didn't think about it.
It's a little bittersweet knowing that as the twins grow up, I am closing chapters of my life but the truth is there are new and different chapters opening up all the time. I am also truly looking forward to spending more time with my hubby (although the thought of them all moving far away scares me).
I'm one of those women is who completely FINE with having only ONE child!! (I have days when I might want one more, but those are very few). I'm ready to get my tubes tied, but my doctors will not let me. (I'll be 30 in October). Grrrr... My husband wants one more, but he's still unsure and can not always convince me enough. So to answer your question, I do not know!! LOL!!
I think you can think, or suspect that you might be done. But know? I am not sure about that. I think we are done. I suspect we are done. But I know we could totally handle having another so we'll see.....time may decide for us as it often does for many.
I adore the picture of Edy!!
I am not even sure if I know I'm done. :/ I feel ya, girl. That "her firsts are my lasts" quote was like a sucker punch to the gut.
Well I was *quite* sure my family was complete at 5 but the Big Guy Upstairs I guess did not agree. So I guess you just know when you know -- except when you are wrong. ;)
"Just Knowing" drives me crazy. I almost didn't marry my amazing husband because I asked people how they knew they were the one and they said the "Just Knew." Fortunately someone said "You never know, if your partner is helping you love who you are it is a good match." I feel like kids are the same. You just make a wild stab in the dark and hope it is right.
I agree with...everyone. I "know" that we're done, but, then again, I totally don't. It makes no sense at all, does it? Fortunately, my husband knows his own mind completely: he's finished. =)
I have been wondering the same thing, Beth. Like, I feel crazy for feeling like our family isn't complete, but I also feel crazy for thinking of adding another bundle to the madness.
Oh, I truly wish I could have another. I really didn't want only one, but the one I have is my joy.
How much do I long for another child? My milk came back after I got to see my friend's new daughter last week. OW! and that's how I long for one.
So at the moment, our family is complete. I really don't want to be outnumbered. My son isn't begging for a sibling, which makes things easier.
So I'm also not pushing the independence things very hard-- not that I need to, as my son wants to do everything himself anyway. But it did go sooo fast. I'm still amazed that he'll be 3 next week.
Five at a time is a LITTER. Humans, imo, aren't supposed to have litters. For one thing, we're simply not equipped. And yeah, if I had to go through a pregnancy with five and be on bedrest for most of it, I'd announce my family was complete too! :)
Mine were all firsts and lasts. No other option.
I try to be super happy, but I know what you mean.
Oh I only have one and am done but at the same time I do the weepy thing with milestones as well!! When she lost her first tooth I really was shook up - she was so excited and I was just going "Where did that time go??? Just last week we were celebrating your GETTING that tooth! It can't be falling out already!" eeep!
I know know how I know, but we just know, we aren't done. And, now more than ever, I think we know. But, after a next (hopefully) we will know, right? Right?
I do NOT feel like I/we are done...I'd love 2 more. I always wanted 4 kids...I've always dreamed of that...
Sadly, my hubs KNOWS he's done...and well, I guess if he's done - I'm done. I have to wonder if we ever feel 'done' - I wonder if it's in our blood to just always long for one more? Our motherly instincts?? While my husband makes very valid points...I still long to be pregnant, long for the delivery, long to hold my very own newborn baby...I'd savor those moments...each and every (awful!) one of them!
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That feeling never really stops. My youngest is 11 and I still yearn to hold another baby of my own. But my head needed to prevail. Three was all I could truly handle. Biology and age hastened the decision.
I'm going through the EXACT same thing. Mason is 14 months and my mind can't wrap itself around not ever having a baby in the house again. I *think* we're done, but deep down I hope not. So much for helping you out with knowing when you're family's complete, lol. Just lots of empathy from me.
wow...this post of yours really made me stop to think. i like when bloggers make me do that, i feel like i'm not alone in my randomness. i think about the same thing, "is my family complete?" it is just my (soon to be) 11 yr old daughter now and i think about all that i want accomplish; buying a house, paying my car off, getting my psychology degree, i want all of this in the next 5 yrs...(i just turned 31), in the grand scheme of things, i think im done...but then again, if a higher power (i.e. God), has different plans...who am I to argue?
http://mexicanmisfit.blogspot.com/
you know i am right there with you.
banging my fists.
crying over wardrobe switching this weekend.
not ready.
i think i will always want a baby.
sigh.
Yes can 100% relate. For us we knew Ryder would be our last because of health issues and while it felt right and is right fir us there are sone days that I morn his milestones.
I hear ya! My sydney is 10 weeks and it is going way to fast. I have at least one heart pounding moment every day where I worry I am going to look back and kick myself for not holding her more etc. I think there are people who know they are done and there are people who will always yearn for another. My husband knows he is done - so that means we are done. I however, probably will always be up for another. But I do think the family of 5 is good for us.
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