My annual exam is coming up, you know the fun gynecological kind. The whole idea of the exam really starts to give me butterflies. I start feeling the need to get on a one-week-fast-track diet. After all, the last time my gynecologist saw me was at my 6 week post-partum check-up. (Though, of course, I did schedule my appointment for the earliest possible time in the morning) I'm hoping that she looks at the scale, looks at me and says something along the lines of 'wow, you totally don't look like you've had three babies' (which will never, ever happen, ever).
I then start thinking about getting a pedicure, she really shouldn't have to have my gnarly toenails in her face the entire appointment and a wax, yes a wax would be great. At the very least, I need to have a very good shave before the big day.
Then my mind starts to wander, I should probably get out the sunless tanning lotion too. No need to blind her with my blazing Minnesota-white torso as she's doing her/my breast exam.
Seriously, I get more prepared for my hot date with my gynecologist than I do for my husband, poor guy.
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18 comments:
Lol!! That's the truth!
Pre-baby I never missed a year. Post-baby (who is almost 18 months) I haven't been since the 6 week either and I was supposed to go back 2 weeks later because I had a C-sect. Oops! And now I don't want to go because I don't want to get on the scale Or spread'em!
Amen! So true! I have my 6 week pp check up next week! Ack!
I hope yours went well.
LMAO!!! I do the same thing:-)
And I bet they are saying "seen one (fill in the blank) seen em all" and are likely just greatful that we take care of our, um... personal.. hygene, hee hee hee
so sad and yet so true!!
our poor, poor hubbies :(
Oh, Beth! I wish you posted every day becaus eI just LOVE reading what you write. I know how you feel. I am the same way!
Umm, by "shave", what exactly do you mean?
Am I the only one left on the planet who doesn't go all bare, down to the 8-year-old looking va-jay-jay? I like a little carpet downstairs, not bare floor. Get my drift? Yes, I think everyone does.
Don't forget to wear your prettiest panties, too. (But PLEASE, for the love of God, DON'T neatly fold everything into a nice little stack and HIDE them in pile.
Hang them on the door knob of the office door, like I do. I mean, the doc already sees what goes in them, why hide them? It's not like we have dignity left after that, anyway...
sad but true... come on by today... i have some love to share...
Oh my goodness. I just had annother blog mom ask me for the savings details from my post yesterday. Rather than spend all day typing (we can see I get a bit wordy, HA). I figured I'd cut and paste the email I sent you this morning. WOW, I SO should have spell checked or atleast read that message over before I sent it! I'm REALLY not that illerate:-) Blame it on the fact that I composed it BFCOC (Before First Cup of Coffee)
We still have to do those after kids?! lol
Left ya somethin on my blog :)
Truer words have not been spoken.
Thanks for making me laugh at something I usually do not find funny!
lol!! You forget to mention the crank/mideval torture device. I swear every medical tool in a gyno's office was invented by a man. Stir ups? What woman would think that was a good idea?
I can SO relate. My doc is a hot guy! Last time I went I had a pedicure & waxing beforehand. Oy vey.
LOL, so sad and yet so true. Hot dates with the husband are a thing of the past . . . for now anyway!!
Good luck at your appt!
I always worry whether my feet smell. They are close to the dr's face when in stirrups.
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