one minute

"One minute."

That's what I thought when I crossed the finish line.  I was one (f'ing) minute over a 2 hour half-marathon.  In training, I've run 13.1 miles each month for the past three months and every single one has been at exactly 2:00.

So I knew I could do... but then again, I didn't.

It hit me about mile 10, like it does most times.  10 miles is the perfect run, enough to feel like you really did something, but not too much where you cuss under your breath about 'why the hell I ever thought this was a good idea'.

At mile 10, I looked up, sucked in air and whispered 'fuck' to no one but myself.  It turned from paved to gravel and even better, it was headed straight up to the clouds.  Running on rocks makes me feel unsteady, makes me lose my footing and forces me to think too much about every step, but I dug in my heels anyways and worked up it, moving slower and slower with every step.

Then I did what I never do, I stopped running.  I looked around, surveyed that lots of people were walking and justified it... 'maybe it will help me in the end' I thought.  I've never walked, only because once I do, I fear it gives me permission to do it again, and maybe again.

I'm pretty sure I had the look of defeat on my face as I reached mid-way up the 'mountain'.

Then a woman ran up beside me, slapped me on the shoulder and with a stern voice directed me to "Come on!".

It was exactly what I needed.

And it's exactly what I thought about hours later when I was driving my mini-van to drop off our latest DVDs at Redbox, just another mundane task on my to-do list, checked off.

I thought about this stranger, this woman, who just slapped my shoulder and told me, essentially, to 'fuck it... it is what it is and let's kick some butt'.

I'm pretty sure she has no idea how what she said to me makes me feel.  It's become my new mantra.  When you think you can't make it any longer, you can.  When you think that you have it suckier than anyone else, you haven't looked around enough.  When you think that hill is a mountain, that this road is going in the wrong direction, when you regret the decisions you've made, you're wrong.

When you think that you can't take it- the kids, your work, the piles of life- for one more minute, you can.

It's just...
one minute.