Sometimes I suck at being a mom. For all of you that didn't comment on my birthday parties are out of control post, this is one post where you can come in and leave a comment about how 'I told you so!'.
Henry's only invited 9 of his friends to his birthday party, which seems pretty small when I have a distinct memory of inviting every child in my Kindergarten class and guess where I had it at: McDonald's. That's right, my love of McDonald's runs deep and long.
But anyway, Henry invited 9 kids. They sat down at the table decorated with Clone Wars paper plates. I added pretzels and said 'we were going to sing and have cake next'. One little boy looks up and say 'is this all we are eating?'
Love all that kid honesty.
Upon leaving, another friend of Henry's asked Henry for his 'goodie bag'. Henry looked at him blankly and turned to my husband. My husband looked at his friend and said "Sorry to tell you, Bud, we don't have goodie bags, but thank you for coming".
Under his breath he said "tell your Mom to start reading Henry's Mom's blog" (not really).
Got that, the math on that is *2 out of 9* complained about something. 22%, that's a pretty high*sucky mom* percentage.
When we returned home from Henry's party, my husband announced next year he's putting himself in charge of the goodie bags.
So this year, I sucked as a mom, but next year I guess
Actually, this might have worked out perfectly.
44 comments:
You don't suck! If I had to change every time a kid complained about things that are fun and free here at church I'd be rich.
Love the new layout by the way!
I didn't do goodie bags either and when we get them it's always a bunch of junk that goes straight into the garbage...figured I'd think of the planet. If it makes you feel better I feel like I suck at pretty much everything, all the time!
As long as Henry had fun, you're a champ. I agree with Brandi... goodie bags are either filled with crap or candy and do kids need more of either one of those? (And what with those kids manners, anyway? Didn't their moms teach them to be thankful?)
I am a rotten mom. I didn't do goodie bags at my kids' last party, either. Part of me felt badly, but the other part of me know it would all be just junk....so I skipped it. Can't believe that kid had the balls to ask where his bag was?!!?!?
Your percentage does not have anything to do with you being a sucky mom - it has EVERYTHING to do with kids getting whatever they want and being spoiled brats now a days! :) Be glad you taught them a life lesson! Ha ha!
You so don't suck! I'm sure your little guy had a great party. The problem is not you, it's the fact that other parents go so OTT with their kiddies' parties and now kids have come to expect this kind of hoopla!
You don't suck. If one of my girls ever *asked* for a goodie bag, *I* would think *I* sucked then, because to me, *that* is rude. The party is about the birthday boy or girl, NOT goodie bags!
And if your kiddo had a great time at his party, your job is done!
You don't suck!!! Don't be silly! Kids feel way too entitled to too much these days! It's good for the little brats to not get a goody bag here and there. LOL
I don't think you suck....but don't worry in a few years they will be teens and then they will tell you that "you suck" on a regular basis (maybe not in so many words)even if you don't.
Just think of it as training for the teen years.
You're an awesome mom!
You secretly did it on purpose, didn't you...to ensure the hubs would take over next year. It might cost you more in the long run - I mean for therapy and all...but what a smart move!!!
~WM
What you did here to your husband is what mine's been doing to me since we got married. I say go girl. Next time he asks you to do something skip a portion of it and he'll take over doing that too.
Oh and you totally don't suck as a mom, those kids are just whiney and ungrateful. How's that for perspective.
22%! ouch! ;)
If your kid had fun...that's all that matters...We had a party last weekend and like usual-I forgot to pass out all the goodie bags! (I hide them til the kids leave because I never know who is all coming...) never fails-I always have a leftover bag or five of cra, er, goodies...
(love the new look!)
Oh Beth I would look at this as 110% success!!! You don't have to do the stupid goodie bags that drive me crazy as well AND you are allowing your hubby the opportunity to obtain another perspective on birthday planning and parenthood :) My 6yr old gets manipulated to pick one friend to go to the movies and stay the night so I don't have to do the whole party scene. I can't wait til the other 2 are old enough to choose this option.
Like Citymouse said the most important this is that the birthday boy had a good time!!
Aw, hun, you don't suck. Seriously--I hate the "goodie" bags personally. Most of the time it's crap that I can't wait to throw away...haha!
And LOVE the new blog makeover! Hot hot HOT!
xoxo
YOU SO DON'T SUCK!! How RUDE of the kids to not mind their manners!! If my kid said that to you or Henry, he would have been reprimanded.
Love the new look!
Katie said her "high" for the day was going to Henry's b-day party. She thought it was awesome :) So did I!
You don't suck. But next time call it an 80's retro party and tell the kids that birthday parties in the 80's didn't have goodie bags because of the recession. ;-)
Birthday parties have gotten way out of hand. Like if you say on the invite not to bring a gift I'm really not going to bring one! Don't write in code!!
Dude. The kids complained but the moms loved you. No goodie bags coming home? I would kiss your feet.
Keep it all in perspective.
:-)
You rock. And you ARE the ANTI-supermom, you know?
Wrong!!! I just want to say, I would never let my child walk up to the birthday boy or parents and ask for a goodie bag. NEVER! I also would never assume that there are goodie bags or gifts to be given to my son. I think that's rude and selfish. I know we both agree on the fact that you shouldn't have to be given a gift to attend a friend's party.
As for someone complaining about eating, I also always make sure I bring extra food or feed my kid before we leave. If there is more food at the party my son wants, then have at it. If not, he's not missing anything.
So you are anything but a sucky mom. To me, you are about as normal as can be. And if not, then we both can be sucky together!
uhm new look? awesome.
and i think your plan was brilliant. dad is totally in charge next year.
Ha ha ha ha! You should link back to your goodie bag post from last ear (one of my favorites). Honestly, I was going to start bringing a flask to Pump it Up last year. Seriously, I think you guys are awesome and maybe next year you can just play some sort of game with scorpions and helium and anyone who isn't dead will be too afraid to be entitled!
Well I guess we know who NOT to invite next time, haha.
And the comments from Capital Mom and Spot On Your Pants are cracking me up!
Love the new layout by the way!
Work from home
Such a mean mom you are.. no bags, not a whole meal for all of those kids!! ;) Probably not matter what you did 2/9 kids would complain.
All I can say is birthdayexpress.com.
It all comes in a box delivered to your door and it's all coordinated and the goodie bags are included. And they have boy and girl themes.
I made the same mistake Kira's at Kira's first birthday party with cousins, I didn't even serve cake. Now I go way overboard. Might as well jump from one extreme to the other right?!
Dude! Those kids are just spoiled bastards. Goodie bags are a waste of money. They get free food and fun and they NEED a smack in the face.
Oh also, LOVE the new layout. It gets me hot.
Ok, 2 out of 9 ain't bad. AND if my children said those things at a birthday party, they wouldn't be going to another one until they relearned their manners.
And on behalf of all mom's everywhere, thank you for not sending home bags of small plastic junk that will be broke, lost, or ingested by the baby 10 minutes after they get home.
See you don't suck. You rock!
8th bday party here this week-end and NO goodie bags going home. THe child who RSVP'd w/o being invited? That's as far as my generosity goes.
Last put things kids could use in the bags- pencils, erasers, etc. No cheap toys, and only one piece of candy- a lollipop.
No, Aunt Aryn sucks because although she thought about calling Henry on Sunday, then forgot, then thought about calling Henry yesterday, but then forgot again, she hasn't wished her nephew happy birthday (or shengri kuai le) yet.
Sigh. I will try to remember today. Press week here, though, so I might lose my mind.
You DO NOT suck!!!
The goodie bags are freakin' overrated (and as a mom I hate the darn things - YAH - I really need more ten cent made in China crap toys running around my house) and these birthday parties do seem to be getting slightly out of control.
My little girl was invited to one for a classmate a few weeks back. They were invited to attend a private showing of a movie at the brand new theater in town (it is a very small town). I thought, oh, what a great idea. So I sent the Peanut to school with some cash and told her to behave and that I'd see her after the movie.
When I got to the theater to pick her up she hadn't spent any of the money because the birthday child's parents had rented out the theater which included their entry to the movie and popcorn/pop for each kid! Holy COW!!!
It was nice Peanut was invited (although ALL the kids in her class were invited) but this seems to set a pretty high precedent.
AAAANNNND, oh yeah, it gets worse - because I thought she was paying for the movie and snacks we didn't get the kid (who she hardly knows) a gift - and it sure looked like all the rest of the kids did! Ugh - bad mothering moment I guess! But these group parties and suck it (as can goodie bags!)
I Hate HATE hate goodie bags. That kid's mom is probably thanking you.
Look at all you sweet people saying I don't suck! I'm honestly fine with admitting to saying I suck a being a mom sometimes.
And thank you for the new layout love, it's causing me some identity problems, but I'll get over it. It was a Christmas present from my husband.
You so don't suck!
I would be relieved to not have to deal with a goodie bag :)
I wish I had the courage to stop the goodie bag insanity! This year I skipped the trinkets and put fruit snacks, graham crackers, a lollipop, and a few temporary tattoos in there. Like I didn't feed them enough junk when they were AT my house. Maybe next year I'll skip them...
You don't suck and good for you for sticking to your guns!
I've been feeling pressure to meet or exceed these same kind of party demands: goodie bags, the biggest, baddest bakery cake, catered food, jump house, party entertainment, music, decorations, etc.
My kid just turned two. How about we lower the bar a little?
My happiest birthday memory is playing pin-the-tail on the donkey & hot potato in my backyard and eating cupcakes my mom made.
You don't suck!
I once went to a child's party where the mother was a dentist.
The goodies bags contained, no lie, toothbrushes-floss-toothpaste-etc. NO CANDY. I mean, hey, she's a dentist. NO ONE COMPLAINED....
Thought Two...
I once had a party with white Tshirts and Fabric Paint... The kids decorated/signed/designed their shirts and took those home.
NO ONE COMPLAINED about that either.
But hey, if our Husbands wish to 'get involved' and 'take over certain party planning areas' then that is great too.
I WOULDN'T COMPLAIN... ;) lol
I'm sure you're tops with the moms and dads that are so happy not to lug all that crap home and have to throw it away. I say you did a great job and the hutspa of that kid to ask where the goodie bag was! That's insane!
Jeez, I love the moms that don't do goodie bags! We are getting a bit absurd in our party ettiquette. I'm glad to see the other moms here agreeing. We should band together.
Don't do the goodie bags next year, Beth. Don't do it! If you do, I'll say that you suck, negating your attempt to reduce your suckiness percentage.
As with big people, so with little ones: you can always count on the fact that no matter what you do, someone will complain about something. As long as your son had a happy birthday, the rest of the kids are just lucky to have been taken along and treated to a day out. Personally, I loathe most "goody bags". Most parents feel so pressured to have them, but because most of us are on a budget, the bags are usually filled with junky little trinkets that end up under the couch, on the floor, and under foot. So much waste! In recent years I've tried to focus on a themed guest favor to send each child home with. For my daughter's "Teddy Bear's Picnic" party, the favor was a bag of homemade scones and a honeybear full of real honey. Something quality, tasty, and non-cluttering. I also like combining a party activity or craft with the favor. This past weekend, we had a station where each child was able to make a hand-made glycerin soap and take it home as a favor.
I agree with stephr B, those kids are probably a little spoiled. Sounds like Henry had fun and that's the important thing. Well, that, and, your husband is going to step up next year to take over a small portion of the party. I bet he does it once and realized why you gave it up.
Oooh, love the new blog design Beth! Right on!
Only two complaints? eh. For Alex's birthday this year, instead of annoying goody bags with tons of random shit in them that I always throw away.... I gave them each a coloring book. It fit the theme (superheroes) and was like a dollar or two each. Way cheaper than buying and assembling a lot of stuff, and each kid was excited and felt like they hit the jackpot! :)
On a different note, you know that event we had last week where we had swag? Yeah, one of the attendees actually complained to my face about them. She said "couldn't they have just donated these to the charity instead of giving them to us?" Um, no. They couldn't. Because FMSC doesn't need cans of tomatoes. Or fruit snacks. I tried to be nice in my response, but she seemed snotty about it. I told her she certainly was not required to take one if it made her uncomfortable. huh.
Aha...no goodie bags huh. Hmmm i've been to several parties where my kiddies didn't get a goodie bag..they didn't ask either.
..
However I've been to one who always over does it on the goody bag and then I don't want to look cheap so when I invite her kids I do one up as well.
..Problem solved this year..i didn't invite her kids..ours don't play with her kids now anyhow.
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