I'm sorry if I offended any one by not inviting the entire class to Henry's 6th birthday party on Saturday. (In case you haven't already figured it out, I'm not a participation trophy for everyone type of a mom either.) I cannot afford to host a $300 birthday party at Pump It Up, in terms of my wallet or my sanity. If my son did happen to say to your child, 'did you get my card (invitation)?' forgive him, he's only 5 (yes, nearly 6) and forgets who he actually picked to come; if you haven't gotten one already, your son/daughter will not be getting an invitation in the mail. Maybe this can be a lesson in conflict resolution?
If you did get an invitation, an email RSVP would be appreciated. I'm pretty certain most people don't have to sit and wait for the whine of dial-up, so a 1 minute task - if that, is all I'm asking.
I got the 'basic' birthday package, in case you were wondering. Your child will not be fed pizza, bread sticks, soda... they will be getting cake (not ordered from a store), pretzels and juice boxes. I was hoping that the 3-5pm time frame would have indicated that I will not be feeding your child a meal, but perhaps I assumed incorrectly.
One more thing, your child will not be getting a goodie bag for attending Henry's birthday party. It's not that Henry doesn't want to give your child presents, last year he attempted to hand out one (newly opened) present to each of his guests (he's amazingly sweet like that), but it's that I'm sympathizing with you, the parents - do you really want more crap in your house?
Looking forward to seeing you all
Sincerely,
Anti-Supermom
72 comments:
Love it. We aren't even having a 2nd bday for the boys.
The one thing I detest about moving back to the DC area are the "theme parties" and all the goodies that kids get just for going to the party. Parents who can barely afford their McMansions put the dog n pony show on for the kids... it is sad.
We won't buy into it.
I am so glad you wrote this. I remember when I was young, every once in a while my mother would have a bday party for us w/the pin the tail on the donkeys and stuff (which was so fun and I can vividly remember that donkey) and limited the guest list because we were so incredibly poor.
At the same time, I also remember being at school in my middle school years and hearing of the bday parties I *wasn't* invited to... the pizza ones that were random, and feeling so sad.
When I was Henry's age I could have cared less about being invited to parties but the middle school years are brutal, and HS too.
Navigating parenthood is tough. You are awesome to stick to your guns, hun.
We are yet to have a friend party.. but Lucas is only 5 and just in preschool. We have planned on it a few times, but every birthday it just seems like we have a lot of family from out of town.. so family it is.
But yeah, I will be dealing with this soon I am sure.
And yes 3-5 is definitely a time where people should not expect dinner.
ughhh! I remember those days and the conflicts it brought about. You have my sympathy....
and Happy Birthday Henry!
Love this! So, so, so true! Birthdays get out of control so quickly and parents turn into competimommy's! ugh! Happy Birthday to Henry!
Good for you.
AMEN! That's all I have to say. I still have not a "friend" party for my son...it's always just family. I'm going to keep it this way as long as I poss. can!
I have one RL G/F that always throws a party for her son and invites everyone and gives out goodie bags and I do not understand how she can feel that the energy put into a party is worth it. My daughter will be six this year which is kind of an age that requires a party. I'm starting to understand why my mom made me plan my own 8th b-day party. She was on to something.
This is precisely why my boys have yet to have a "friends" birthday party...if some parents can afford to invite the whole class (and have the patience to deal with a group of 30 kids) more power to 'em...we're not that family. So far now, we'll go bowling or dirt bike riding or ice skating as a family, and have homemade cake and presents and hopefully for now, that's enough! :)
Try doing it with twins. Yeah, I want sixty children at a birthday party by myself. People are stupid.
LOL no goodie bag---can my kids go to your parties? I hate when they bring those 'pile o'crap' bags home--they fight over them and then leave them everywhere for us to step on :0
Keep strong---birthday parties get much more laid back with age---except those moms that rent out boats, hotel rooms, etc. (not kidding!)
Great post.... what every mom has wanted to say on more than one occasion!
I'm with you! Of course, I'm the mom who celebrated her daughter's first birthday with a housewarming/happy-birthday-Mad-PLEASE-don't-bring-toys party. I probably don't even speak to the glaring at you kind of moms (yay me! lol).
Oh, and our "goodies" consisted of take home the Easter eggs you just colored and here's a pop-up ladybug. (Note to self: next time make sure people take home the freaking eggs!)
I think I love you. I feel the same way about birthday parties and ESPECIALLY goodie bags!! We are having 'big' parties for our girls every 3 years (it works out that they'll have bigger ones on their 10th, 13th, and 16th birthdays), but we will NOT be inviting their ENTIRE classes.
*And* we also had a Pump It Up party when our older daughter turned 4 (she's in kindergarten now) -- but it was a joint party w/a friend of hers so we split the cost, and we *still* didn't do the whole pizza deal.
I'm with ya.
Birthday parties can be crazy. We went to one yesterday with pizza, cake and make-your-own-teddy bears. It must have been expensive.
With summer babies I like to have parties in the park. Cake, some snacks and they can play outside. We did make play dough and burned some cds with the girl's favorite stories but the party was pretty cheap.
Hope your party goes well.
This is why I heart you. Seriously.
We always just had the cake/ice cream/drinks when we were growing up.
Why do so many parents feel the need to throw on a small carnival for parties?!
I can't wait to hear all about the party--it's going to be fabulous! xo
Birthday parties nearly rival graduation parties these days!You're doing it the way it should be done!
we just attended two birthday parties this saturday back-to-back... one at 11am and one at 1pm. whew! and there were plenty of 'goodies' at the party and to bring home... and once those 'goodies' were home they seemed to leave little 'baby goody trails'--- candy wrappers, pieces of broken plastic, toys to fight over, and today- melted pieces of candy that apparently my 3 yr old decided he did not like the taste of. nice! ;)
Thanks for writing what a lot of us were thinking.
You. rock.
And for the record...I hate those goody bags of crap too!
oh... and my 3 yr old just informed me that he 'wants his bubble gum'... obviously these 'goody bags' held gum as well. i would bet money there are 'baby "chewed up" gum trails' around this house somewhere too!
AMEN!! That's why I stick to family and close friends. We had a pirate party for my oldest, but still only invited those closest to us. I hate spending $$ I don't have.
Oh I that would be a hard situation to be in. Haven't thought about running into that obstacle yet. I like your plans and way of thinking though!
Happy Birthday Henry!
I hate having to decide how many kids to let my girls invite to their parties. It is a constant struggle. We are going through it right now. One of my other problems, how big do I make the cake. My kids' eyes have grown they want wedding cakes, not birthday cakes. :(
happy birthday sweet boy!
ps - you have a brilliant mama :)
AMEN mama! Actually, I'm too cheap for the cheap package, we just jump on the bed. Ok, not really, ok, not with guests over.
Pato wants to take Jordan, my 2 brothers, 2 nieces, 5 of Jordan's friends to play paintball. (Do you play paintball?)
I have 2 problems with that a - it's $225 dollars. b - it's also my other son's 1st birthday (yep, had them the same day 10 years apart.) Do you think I'm putting out $500 all together in birthday party stuff for them? Um, no. Daddy is smoking something funny. Plus, it doesn't seem right that Jordan's going to be off having fun on his brother's first birthday while his brother sits here with mom and the sisters staring at the wall.
This is so a blog post for tomorrow. ROFL Sorry! You got me started. Good luck with the party and happy birthday Henry!
That's hilarious. I will totally be the parent that's like 'fuck you and your kids, I'm not throwing a birthday party for YOU, it's for MY kid.'
You are my new hero! I agree with you 100% on this.
does this mean i should cancel the ponies??
Oh, I so could have written this post so many times. In fact, over the past year, we have stopped hosting friend parties for just that reason. We do a fun, meaningful family party (or better put, a get together) and keep it to that.
Thanks for sharing this and making me, at least, feel like I am not the only mom out there who doesn't feel that way!
(And looking forward to meeting you at the FMSC event tonight!)
OMG that is so hillarious! That is one thing that I hate about Birthday Parties! Making sure that the ones who are not invited do not know so that they don't get their feelings hurt and trying to come up with something that will not cost an arm and a leg to throw because surprisingly, a lot of people want you to feed their kids at parties! Who knew! :) Good luck and have fun!
I hear ya - we shouldn't feel forced to invite everyone in the class!
However, a few yrs ago my son was not invited to a bday party for a long-time close 14 yr old friend of his because they got in an argument the night they were making invitations. The parents knew of this and let it happen and at that age, yes, they have a right to choose who they want, but also, at that age, it's a good time to teach lessons to your children about being kind to your friends and a small argument on one day should not make such an impact on the rest of your friendship, which this somewhat did.
Also, my son works at that store, so if you happen to have a very nice and handsome young man with a great smile be your party host, please tip him lots. :)
Thanks for this letter!! I at one point had six kids to throw parties for and it wasn't happening!! I did the family party thing! Now that we are down to four we are doing the amusement park for your birthday thing!!
Love this.
In Tommy's school though, you have to give invitations to the entire class. But only if you pass them out at school.
This is why we don't do big parties. We just have family parties.
I love this blog you are so funny and I really look forward to following your blog and getting to know you better!
Come on by to my blog as well if you would like. I am doing my 3nd one right now...an iPod Nano and my 2nd an inSytler. http://blondeinablog.blogspot.com/2010/01/giveawayipod-nano.html
We are just entering the Birthday party phase...dreading it:O
I love this. It was great to meet you last night at the blogger event! :)
Suzi
pinkvanillacupcakes.com
I guess our invite got lost in the mail.
I couldn't agree with you more. I don't even like to do the parties...but we do:)
Wow! Did my invitation get lost in the mail? Just kidding. :)
$300 for Pump it Up!! I had no idea...these parties can get out of hand.
April
aprilatrandom.blogspot.com
happy birthday Henry Love grandma and papa
happy birthday Henry Love grandma and papa
I'm so with you on this one!
ok, you do not know me but can i just say a BIG thank you. when did parties become about inviting people we do not want to and spending more than the kids will realize. the thing with goody bags is it is junk and hardly makes it into my home so what is the since. invite my family over and let the kids play, through a cake on the table. i can promise when my children grow up they are not going to be hurt because i did not spend a pay check on a party.
you are a smart mamma, i will not even get into why we think we have to serve a meal now. to me it is not even about the money but the expectations of it all.okay off my soap box. i hope he had a great party
Didn't we have this conversation last year? I thought it was you who was talking about not wanting to do goodie bags and I was like "thank goodness!" because not everyone wants to do those either.
I could be wrong. My SIL has a philospohy...if my she hasn't heard my niece talk about someone in her class, they don't get invited. Kind of makes sense. Hope you have fun! Happy Birthday H!
Oh my gosh. I love this. We are kindred spirits on this one chick. I'm gonna steal this letter and use it.
I really am.
Bravo to you on taking the "no more goody bag stand" :D I'm so glad the party years are but a distant memory.
P.S. Love the new design!
I am so with you on all of this.
Really haven't birthday parties gotten so out of hand. What the heck will our kids do with their kids, invite the town? Give away ponies as a thank you for coming gift.
Yup, this mama is rocking it old school when it comes to birthday parties too!
limited the guest list because we were so incredibly poor.
Work from home
I hear ya! We just had my daughter's 5th birthday party this past weekend. We have a small house and a small budget, so inviting the whole class is out of the question. It then becomes a very tricky and sticky challenge of who to invite, and where to draw the line. Yesterday, my daughter went up to one of her classmates and his mom at Preschool and asked, "why didn't you come to my birthday party?" Argh! The child hadn't been invited ~ that's why. Awkward! Fortunately, the mom was cool and helped diffuse the situation without any hard feelings.
You are singing my song, Anti-Supermom! I say, let's go back to the good old days where birthday parties were simple affairs (as you describe in this post) and kids had more realistic expectations about their birthdays - a few friends, some simple games and a cake. Taa-daa!
This past November, it was my daughter's fifth birthday, and so she had her first "big" party - at a gymnastics club, with a few friends, etc. We have been telling her ever since that day not to expect another birthday party like that until she's 10. I cannot believe parents throw big parties EVERY year! Haven't these people heard about "milestone" years?
Here's my list of milestone birthdays that warrant a bigger celebration:
5 years; 10 years; 16 years; 18 years; 21 years; 30 years; 40 years; 50 years; 60 years; 65 years... only after 60 do you get to celebrate big every five years... until you're 90 and then you get a big celebration every year until you die because, hey, you made it to 90 - you better freakin' celebrate every day!
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