where go my penny?

"Momma, where go my penny?"

I hear that about 263 times in a day. I never get tired of it.

Only penny sometimes sounds like pa-when-ie and penny refers to all coins.

"Momma, where go my penny?" The second request is louder, more forceful, he might even be standing on his tip-toes, giving me his Grandma Betty mad face.

He carries his penny around inside his fist, he'd prefer to have one in both but he has learned to settle for one.


I reply "I don't know Wu, go look for it?" Thinking inside, those stupid pennies. I find them everywhere; under the couch hanging with the dust bunnies; between the cracks of his high chair, glued onto something that I'm hoping is only ketchup; they have slipped under the rug in the kitchen, sure to be scratching nice, thick grooves into our hardwood floor; and oh yes, those stupid pennies are in the trash can because I can't stand to bend down and pick up one more penny that he has discarded.

Wyatt replies "Oh, OK", like what I have suggested was well, practical - 'go find one' only to have him return two seconds later "I don't see it. Momma, where go my penny?".

Ugg.

"Wu, (forgetting that I'm talking to a 2 year old) you have to be responsible for your 'toys', if you want a penny, go get one."

He rolls on the floor, whines at a decibel only dogs should be allowed to hear and I do what I do best, ignore him.

He soon appears to forget about the penny. I continue to do what I don't do best, clean.

I'm at the sink when he comes back.

"Momma, I've got gum."

What?

He swallows the gum and continues

"Momma, I've got my penny."

I turn around and it registers, that little bugger went downstairs, rummaged though my bag to find my wallet and pulled out a quarter. While he was there, I guess he figured he should nab a piece of gum too.

That little thief. Smart, but still a thief.

burger buffet WW

Apparently, burger buffets transform reasonable-minded, grown adults into people that think wearing the McDonald's to-go bags on their heads are the 'in' accessory.

Oh yes, I was in heaven.

wish you were there

I wish that you were sitting next to me at BlogHer, helping me laugh at the feeling of me being the only blogger there without millions of followers and hundreds of comments per post. That you were sitting next to me at one of the several dozen tables dimly lit with the fluorescent glow of five hundred or so laptops open at any given time, rolling your eyes at the need to be on Twitter 37+ hours a day. That you could have smiled and nodded along with me at the women that appear to be shocked that I have never heard of their blog before.

I wish you could have been there to grab the over hundred dollars worth of swag stuff, together laughing at the idea that we are in a 'recession'. That you and I could have been getting free chair massages side-by-side, jumping into the photo booth and possibly, just possibly getting up on stage and singing a little karaoke Dancing Queen. That we could have drank the free Goose Island beer and fancy, I-can't-remember-their-name cocktails, squeezing in the last free one right before last call. That you and I could have gone to the McDonald's After Hours Party on the top floor of the hotel and eaten 3 or 4 cheeseburger each, from the burger buffet and then hidden all evidence under the linen tablecloth.

That would have been awesome.

Next year, okay?

Until then, I'm packing up most of my swag stuff and giving it to one of you. I'm calling it my "Wish You Were There, You Better Get Your A$$ To Next Year's New York BlogHer" Giveaway.

I love you guys and I really do wish you were there.



Highlights of the package:
$10 Lands End gift card with free shipping promo card
A 'designed for women' level with keyhole locators
Build-A-Bear bear with code for a free bear tee
Strawberry Shortcake Action Figure with DVD
Strawberry Shortcake: Lemon Meringue - soft figure
Hanes Sport Socks
A Go Girl (hee-hee)
a great canvas bag
and a few other nice surprises

we interrupt this blog...

Madeline Island

now back to my regular I-can't-believe-she-brushed-their-teeth-with -her-finger-because-she-forgot-their-toothbrushes-for-a-week type of a blog.

VACATION, GIVEAWAY

Did you stop by my blog because of my cleverness in comma usage or perhaps because you thought I was giving away a vacation?

Ha-ha.

I'm not giving away a vacation. I'm going on vacation - comma - I'm having a giveaway to bribe you all to keep visiting while I'm not posting anything new.

While I might not be at the ocean, we're going to an island, so heck, it's going to feel like an ocean (minus the freezing water) and even though we will not be seeing sea turtles, I'm going to be giving one away.


I received an email from Baby Bella sending a great list of 10 unique baby gifts. I opened the email and knew that I must have the Twilight Sea Turtle. First off, the thing lights up, with stars and a moon, on your ceiling. Secondly, it's a sea turtle and if your child knows Nemo as a BFF as Wyatt does, who screams 'Righteous!' any time we exit off an on/off ramp, than you would have to have it too.

I adore this thing. If either of my children were afraid of the dark, then this would be perfect, because it has a 45 minute timer, enough time for them to fall asleep - I would hope, geesh. I also love that it has real constellations projected. The storybook and the endanger species that light up are just bonuses on this great toy. Oh yes, I got a little teary eyed with the Sea Turtle adoption page reminding me of my Cabbage Patch years.

So stick with me, leave me some love. Follow me (meaning going to your dashboard and adding my blog) and get another entry. I've got one Twilight Sea Turtle to giveaway.

Sorry, I don't have a vacation to give away.

I'm such a tease.

Giveaway Closed - chosen by random.org the winner is #11 Kristine

caged animal

Sometimes I not sure if I'm the mother of a toddler or a caged animal.

He is basically refusing to use the toilet for poopie. He will hold it for up to three days. He'll wait until he gets that diaper on for nap time and (I swear, giggles about it) proceeds to poopie in his diaper after a good little nap (isn't this the way life should be after all...).

I'm okay with this, he'll get over the feeling that the toilet is flushing away something so very important from his body, but last week he discovered that he could stick his fingers into his diaper.

I've found poopie drawings around his crib twice last week.

This weekend, at a restaurant, after telling the waitress that he wanted 'cha-cha milk and poopie' he grabbed the Equal packets to play with. Fine. He rips one after another open, again, I'm fine with this as long as he's quiet. He's playing with his little fake sugar pile, building roads and pushing it into piles, it actually was cute.

When he thought we weren't really looking, he bent his head down and licked the table.

Licked it.

If I can't opt for the cage, I going to start googling 'toddler muzzles' in the near future.

PS - don't mind the headband on Wu, he was feeling extra sassy that day, I guess.

WTF Wednesday

When I was in second grade, I'm pretty certain that I was writing about My Little Ponies, my brilliant idea of wearing shorts under my skirts so I could still do flips off the bar of the jungle gym without flashing my days of the week underwear and just maybe, the unfairness of my mother for not letting me eat ketchup by the spoonful.

Granted, I wasn't winning any poetry awards, but this little poetry prize winner has me majorly freaked out about his unseen secrets.

WTF? He's in the second grade.

Somebody needs to take this cute little Quinn to the state fair and get him a corn dog and cotton candy, geesh.

On second thought, maybe he should avoid the carnies.

(By the way, if you know me, you know I very rarely swear but WTF has such a nice ring to it and I'm all about my blog being well rung.)